Guidance
Maintaining a record of important life events
We have a significant role in supporting all tamariki and rangatahi across care or protection and youth justice so that important events in their life are collected, recorded, maintained and made available.Mana tamaiti
Our childhood memories and experiences play an important part in telling the story of who we are today. For tamariki and rangatahi in care, we must pay particular attention to noticing and helping tamariki and rangatahi to record these experiences. The record of their life journey is one of the most important resources that will be created by tamariki and rangatahi for tamariki and rangatahi while in care and will be taken with them as they transition into adulthood.
This isn’t just capturing life events — it’s the capturing and recording of their life journey. Te tamaiti or rangatahi along their journey may come to realise how their life events are taonga that encapsulates their mana.
Recording their life events allows te tamaiti or rangatahi to build a picture of their:
- strengths
- experiences
- achievements
- attachments
- relationships
- whakapapa and cultural identity
- journey.
Maintaining a record of life events supports mana tamaiti.
Depending on the age and stage of development, disabilities and learning needs of te tamaiti or rangatahi, not all tamariki or rangatahi may be able to communicate how they want their early years captured. We may need to be more actively involved in recording life events for these tamariki and rangatahi.
Older tamariki and rangatahi may want to have more control over recording and maintaining their life events. Some older tamariki and rangatahi may not be willing or ready at the time of engagement or discussions to record important life events.
If tamariki and rangatahi are uncertain or resistant to recording life events, practitioners and carers should be encouraged to capture important moments for te tamaiti or rangatahi. Have a discussion with te tamaiti or rangatahi about their uncertainty or reluctance, so we can understand their feelings and emotions and provide further supports they may need. We need to look at this as something they could have in the future if they do not want it right now.
What tamariki and rangatahi have told us about their life events
“If you don’t think about them, they go out of your head like photos of my brother.”
Tamariki and rangatahi have told us:
- We want you to know that the life events book (or anything else that records our stories) belongs to us. We decide what goes in it and who gets to see it.
- If other people want to add things to the life events book, we want it to be people who we trust.
- We want to include in our life events book our whānau or family, siblings and friends, and people who we love and respect.
- We also want to remember the caregivers and whānau or family who looked after us, especially if we have had lots of caregivers.
- We want to remember our achievements, including sports, culture, education, and extracurricular activities. We also want to remember trips we have been on and fun things we have done.
- Some of us have to move around a lot. We will need help looking after our life events book.
- We don’t want the bad things that have happened to us to be included in our life events book. But some of us want to remember the mistakes we have made and challenges we have overcome so that we can look back and see how we have grown. We might need your help to figure out how best to record these things, like in a journal or diary.
- Not all of us will want or need a life events book. Some of us have other ways of capturing our life events. This might depend on our culture or our age.
- We don’t just want you to capture memories of things that have already occurred. We want your help to create new memories, particularly of people and things that mean a lot to us.
- Life events that matter to us change over time. Even though we might say that we don’t want to remember things when we are tamariki, there is a chance we will want to remember them when we are older. We will need your help to look after some of our memories until we are at a stage in our lives to have those things returned to us.
Purpose of capturing and collecting life events and memories
The collection and care of these memories will:
- promote oranga and reduce trauma
- maintain cultural connectedness
- create cultural identity and belonging
- support their spiritual, religious and cultural beliefs
- build their self-image
- maintain relationships with family, whānau, hapū, iwi and other people special to tamariki
- record their development, achievements and milestones
- help tamariki to consider their memories as taonga.
Ideas of life events for tamariki and rangatahi
“They are my treasured memories and it’s important to look after them.”
Important life events can include things like:
- attending kindergarten, Kōhanga Reo, Aoga Amata
- receiving a great school report or class photos or school award
- achievements in sports, arts or hobbies
- losing their first tooth and the tooth fairy came to visit them
- school events, such as athletics, cross country, school fair, attending a school trip or school ball
- getting their braces on or off
- visits with their whānau or family or being with siblings and friends
- getting their driver licence
- celebrating a birthday or a whānau or family member's birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Children’s Day
- messages and cards from whānau or family or friends
- celebrating Matariki, Diwali, Pacific Language Week
- performing in a kapa haka or Pacific culture performing group
- tangihanga or bereavement.
There are a multitude of events which are likely to be important to tamariki either in that moment or in the future when they or their whānau or family look back.
Life events and tamariki and rangatahi Māori
When engaging with tamariki and rangatahi Māori discussing their important life events, consider the key principles of mana tamaiti, whakapapa and whanaungatanga. Consider also the principles contained in Te Toka Tūmoana and the Māori cultural framework.
In addition to the types of things important to all tamariki and rangatahi, for tamariki and rangatahi Māori, important events and things will be those that link them to their whānau, hapū, iwi, marae and whenua. Oral traditions and influences from the natural world may be particularly important in understanding and recalling life events for tamariki, rangatahi and whānau Māori and we may need to seek advice to find the best way to help te tamaiti or rangatahi with this.
Whakamana te tamaiti: Practice empowering tamariki Māori
Life events and tamariki and rangatahi from other cultural backgrounds
Cultural considerations are also relevant and important when working with Pacific children. The Vai'aifetū practice model and its principles must be applied, including:
- child’s best interest
- relationships
- responsibility
- spirituality
- humility
- dignity.
Tamariki and rangatahi who may not be able to communicate due to their age or language (English may not be their first language) may require an interpreter or translator. Consider how support can be provided for carers to communicate with tamariki and rangatahi.
We should seek cultural advice about what are important events in the culture and religion of te tamaiti or rangatahi we are working with. Each will have their own traditions, celebrations and rites of passage on the way to young adulthood which should be paid particular attention to.
Disabilities and learning needs
We take our time to talk to disabled tamariki and rangatahi about what’s important to them and how they want to keep a record of life events. Keep an open and creative mind. They may have milestones and achievements which are different but no less significant to them than their same aged peers.
Just like all tamariki and rangatahi, disabled tamariki and rangatahi have a right to have their views, wishes and feelings taken into account when decisions are made about their lives. All tamariki and rangatahi can communicate their preferences if those working with them take the time to understand how they communicate.
Planning and preparing for these discussions will be important.
Ways memories can be captured and maintained
“I don’t like books because they get lost or burned.”
Memories can be captured and maintained through:
- a photo album
- a box for physical memories (keepsakes and taonga)
- a scrapbook
- photos in frames
- a portable USB drive
- other digital devices or storage accounts
- certificates in frames
- trophies
- videos
- access or visits with whānau or the family group
- a pepeha journal, Tamariki Awesome ME gratitude journal, Rangatahi Awesome ME gratitude journal or a plain diary or journal.
Be creative and choose the best way of recording events that suits the individual tamaiti or rangatahi, but make sure every tamaiti or rangatahi has some means of keeping a record and keeping their special things safe. When tamariki and rangatahi come into care, we have some specific things we can give them to help them get started.
Tamariki and rangatahi in care can choose their own life events book, journal, diary or gratitude journal. The gratitude journal provides te tamaiti and rangatahi with a definition of the meaning of gratitude, some tips and other things that they could write or reflect on and includes a few activities. These may not suit all tamariki or rangatahi, remembering that this is just another option they can choose. Tamariki and rangatahi may want to purchase something else not available through Bluestar and that is their choice to make.
A pencil case will also be available for tamariki and rangatahi in care, containing pens, pencils, glue sticks and other items. This pencil case will help tamariki and rangatahi to have things they can use to get started on their life events book and can be added to based on the preference of te tamaiti or rangatahi.
We can also provide te tamaiti or rangatahi with a memory box where they can put special things in one place and access them when they want, including physical mementoes of important life events.
National Care Standards ordering process (PDF 258 KB)
Best interests and best practice
“It’s your memories – if you want them to be shown you would let someone know.”
When developing life event records with tamariki and rangatahi be aware of:
- what supports and resources te tamaiti or rangatahi needs to capture these moments
- the age and development of tamariki and rangatahi, including newborns, toddlers, infants, pre-teens and teenagers
- how te tamaiti or rangatahi can capture these moments – consider their age and stage, disability and any communication needs, such as deafness or visual impairment (pictures or voice recordings may be more useful to te tamaiti or rangatahi)
- cultural, spiritual, rites of passage and religious beliefs and practices, such as christening and baptisms
- the relationship between trauma and life events which may trigger some emotions and feelings for tamariki and rangatahi
- safety considerations for te tamaiti or rangatahi and any safety plan that has been implemented.
We need to be actively:
- talking to te tamaiti or rangatahi to understand what they want to capture, how they want to participate or whether they want to take the lead in recording their life events
- discussing the options that te tamaiti or rangatahi have to capture, record and maintain their life events – ensure that te tamaiti or rangatahi is aware that it’s their choice
- noticing any trauma response or distress triggered by talking about life events — if this happens ensure that you respond appropriately to these emotions and ensure tamariki and rangatahi are in a safe space to recognise, respond, regulate and restore before leaving them
- building, reconnecting and maintaining relationships
- using supervision sessions with our supervisor or team leader to think about how best to support life events recording for tamariki and rangatahi we are working with
- seeking cultural advice about what and how specific events are best recorded
- enlisting the support of others such as caregivers, whānau or family, teachers and coaches to help tamariki and rangatahi record their life events
- seeking ideas from other practitioners within our team or site — they may present ideas we haven't considered that we may want to discuss with te tamaiti or rangatahi
- considering other sources from the internet – there are many ideas of life books that could help us discuss ideas with te tamaiti or rangatahi (we need to ensure that it is culturally appropriate and support them if te tamaiti or rangatahi would prefer to design their own).
Remember that te tamaiti or rangatahi owns their life events book and memories and it is te tamaiti or rangatahi who will determine how and what their book will look like with the support of the practitioner, whānau or family, carers and others whom they trust.
Lifebook pages | Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parents Association
Role of Oranga Tamariki caregiver
The role of the caregiver is to discuss with the Oranga Tamariki caregiver social worker any worries that they may have in supporting te tamaiti or rangatahi to capture any life events. The caregiver also has an important role in supporting te tamaiti or rangatahi to capture their life events and create their life event or pepeha book.
Caregiver kete (PDF 1.82 MB) | orangatamariki.govt.nz
Caregivers should be supported to use their judgement about circumstances where it may not be relevant to have discussions about life events which may include:
- an emergency placement (overnight, weekend)
- a temporary short-term placement (5 days).
Tamariki and rangatahi may return home to the care of their parents or carers after a short stay in the care and custody of Oranga Tamariki. However, if te tamaiti or rangatahi remains in the care of Oranga Tamariki for a longer period, practitioners should discuss with te tamaiti or rangatahi about a life events book, pepeha journal, or other journal or diary.
Explaining rights and entitlements to tamariki and rangatahi
Residences and community homes
Discuss at a Multi-Agency Team meeting how to support tamariki and rangatahi with their life events book, keeping it up to date and adding events while te tamaiti or rangatahi is in the residence or community home. The roles and responsibilities for maintaining the life events book will require agreement between the social worker, residence and community home staff.
Care partners pursuant to section 396
If te tamaiti or rangatahi is placed with a care partner, we work with them to ensure the care partner and their caregiver or staff understand and support the collecting and collation of te tamaiti or rangatahi life events.
The Oranga Tamariki social worker for te tamaiti or rangatahi and the care partner should discuss and agree the roles and responsibilities of the Oranga Tamariki social worker and the care partner for recording the life events of te tamaiti or rangatahi. This should be done at the transition stage to the care partner and at plan reviews. Oranga Tamariki social workers should still expect to play an active role in supporting te tamaiti or rangatahi in the recording of their life events. However, the role of supporting caregivers will sit with the provider.
We can still provide the same resources to te tamaiti or rangatahi (the book or journal, pencil case and memory box) irrespective of whether they are in the care of a provider or Oranga Tamariki caregiver.
Full care partners
Partners who have full custody of tamariki and rangatahi, such as a tamaiti or rangatahi in the custody of the chief executive of the care partner organisation, are responsible for recording life events.
Keeping live events records and momentos safe
Some of the things that tamariki and rangatahi record in their life events books or taonga they may keep can be irreplaceable. It’s important to think about what we can do to help prevent them getting lost or damaged. Caregivers will know that they have a particular responsibility to ensure there is a place for tamariki and rangatahi to keep their things safe and you can cover this when talking to te tamaiti or rangatahi about the ‘Welcome to Our Home/Haere Mai ki Tō Tātau Kāinga’ resource.
Take particular care when te tamaiti or rangatahi is transitioning between or from care. Make sure whoever is caring for them next understands how te tamaiti or rangatahi has chosen to record their life events. Tamariki and rangatahi going to respite care or into residence for a short time may wish to take their record with them or may prefer that someone else looks after it for them. Talk this decision through with them.
Even with all care taken, there are times when things can happen. Think ahead. There may be ways you can keep copies or photos of important things. When tamariki and rangatahi are distressed they may demonstrate this by destroying things that are important to them. If this happens to their life event record, respond with support and understanding and when they are ready, talk to te tamaiti or rangatahi about how their life event record can be restored or a new one created.
Residence and community home staff working with tamariki and rangatahi will follow any required operational policies and procedures specific to their workplace, ensuring the mitigation of any health and safety risks the life events book may create for tamariki and rangatahi and others in homes and residences.
Life events recording resourcing
There are a number of ways we can equip a tamaiti, rangatahi and caregiver with the resources to collect and record life events.
A range of life events books, journals, diaries, memory boxes, pencil cases and other resources are available through Bluestar in various colours. The social worker can go through these products with te tamaiti or rangatahi so they can choose a life events book, journal, diary, pencil case, stickers, coloured paper and memory box in the colour of their choice. An administrative person on site or social worker resource assistant can order these products from Bluestar to be delivered to the site and provided to te tamaiti or rangatahi.
If te tamaiti or rangatahi does not like any of the options available through Bluestar then the social worker or caregiver should support te tamaiti or rangatahi to go out and purchase another life events book or memory box that would better suit them. For larger purchases this can be done through use of a purchase order as part of the financial plan for te tamaiti or rangatahi. However, if we are spending time with te tamaiti or rangatahi, we can use our incidental expenditure card to make small purchases, such as books of stickers chosen by te tamaiti or rangatahi which can be added to their book.