Mo'ui Fakalata – Tongan cultural approach

Religious beliefs and rituals are associated with key life events. Of significance is the church and its importance in facilitating social order. For example, the sacredness of people’s relationship with God transfers to the relationship between people and with the monarchy, nobles and commoners. 

Community and people focused, where the motivation is for the good of all. Attention on the individual is included in the collective. 

Relationships are essential to social organisation and ideals of what is sacred and not sacred – for example, the taboo of the relationship between a brother and sister, which sets how they behave and communicate with one another and within the family.

Reference: Introducing disability concepts with integrity into Tongan cultural context, by SLT Tahaafe (pages 59 to 62)

The social structure is divided into 3 classes:

1. Tu‘i (the King)
2. Hou‘eiki (nobility)
3. Kakai tu‘a (commoner)

Of note, a change has been noted to the Tongan social structure to include the emergence of an 'elite' class by which commoners such as government ministers, church ministers, wealthy and educated people are able to claim a space through their academic achievements. From a Tongan lens, social workers need to understand the role of power that as professionals they bring to the working relationship.

The social stratification is distinctive and prescribes action regarding the way people relate and communicate with one another. For example, interactions and languages for communication used for the king differ from those used for a noble or for commoners. These systems prescribe things to be said and things not to be said. At the heart of this social structure and organisation is the significance of kāinga relationships and ties. 

Fofola e fala kae alea e kāinga: Exploring the issues of communication regarding Tongan youth suicide in South Auckland, New Zealand

Nofo ‘a kāinga means the dwelling within the family (inclusive of immediate and extended) or the core of the kinship circle. It is also known as the Tongan family structure. Kāinga ties to fanau is important as it encompasses how the home is structured and organised, those that live within but also those who are connected to the fanau and live outside the home. Kāinga highlights significant people with roles and functions. For example, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and so forth. These key roles mobilise extended familial relationships and associated obligations of care and protect the fanau.

Tongan family structure illustrates that kāinga is collective and includes relationships across the broader collective which are reciprocal in nature regardless of kinship ties. From a Tongan perspective, the kāinga can be a mechanism for social workers to detect relationships that often serve as protection, support, accountability to influence positive change for families.

Ko e tangi fai mei he ate: Conceptualising deliberate self-harm amongst Tongan women in Auckland, New Zealand, by Aulola He-Polealisi Fuka Lino

The relationship between members of the kāinga is reciprocal and interdependent, with each member fulfilling an expected role responsibility to one another. While this act of reciprocity is positive, factors have contributed to changes in the family structure which places pressure on kinship ties and fanau. The kāinga can be a protective and risk factor for fanau.

• Tamai (father) is usually the head of the ‘api (house, home). If the father is no longer in the ‘api, the role is then taken by the fa‘e (mother) or a significant member within the kāinga.
• Fa‘e (mother) is to look after the day-to-day management of the home, to ensure that the fanau are looked after. There is an expectation that the mother is responsible for providing moral advice to the fanau.
• ‘Ulumotu‘a (head of the paternal kāinga) is a male and this is a role inherited by the oldest of the paternal line. It is regarded as fale hufanga (house of refuge). Traditional family decision-making is based on a collective consensus, but where there is disagreement, the ‘ulumotu‘a makes the final decision. When the ‘ulumotu‘a is absent, decision-making and providing guidance is deferred to the elders (who are women or men).
• Paternal kāinga often hold higher standing than maternal kāinga in decision-making, depending on the situation, family concerned and context.
• Sisters are socially superior to brothers within families. For example, mehikitanga (paternal aunts) or fahu (eldest paternal aunt in a family line that extends beyond the nuclear unit) are matriarchal figureheads. Women in these positions traditionally have cultural rights over their brother’s children – for example, naming of her brother’s children, presented with cultural gifts on birthdays, weddings and funerals.
• Elders are respected by the young.

Role distribution and expectations are deeply ingrained in the cultural fabric and traditional values of Tongan people. There is clear division of roles and responsibilities based on gender, age and social status. Each person knows their specific role and has certain expectations to fulfil.

Roles in the kāinga are instrumental in maintaining a sense of unity and harmony. It creates a sense of order and cooperation, which leads to improved wellbeing for all. Roles are closely tied to traditions in Tongan society and are usually passed down through generations, emphasising the importance of family and community ties. By adhering to these roles, individuals contribute to the preservation and transmission of Tongan culture, which is essential for wellbeing.

The kāinga has the responsibility to teach, care and guide children about talangofua (obedience), ‘ulungaanga (expected behaviour) and consequences. First-born sons and daughters hold status and are raised to be aware of responsibility and expectations from an early age – these include looking out for younger siblings and over time. Subsequent children are also taught their roles, responsibilities within and duties to the kāinga. The child’s gender is also significant to legal rights and entitlements. Males have legal privilege over females in land inheritance and succession to the throne in Tonga.

Wellbeing is aligned to a Tongan fale due to the cultural significance in the Tongan society. The fale is not just a physical structure but a symbol of community, family and interconnectedness. It reflects the idea of being in harmony with the environment and promotes safety and wellbeing. The fale is a gathering place for families and communities. It serves as a safe space for sharing, socialising, discussing important matters and offering support to one another. This sense of connectedness and support is essential for overall wellbeing. The fale also embodies the traditional values and customs of Tongan culture. 

There are two added dimensions of wellbeing for Mo‘ui Fakalata which extends to the three (as shown in the diagram). The two additional dimensions are:

• ‘kāinga’, which refers to the immediate and extended family
• the influence or impact of ‘Ātakai (environment).

Understanding these dimensions is a critical part of building and monitoring ongoing safety, including in the context of offending, for fanau. 

Kāinga is fundamental in Mo‘ui Fakalata as it reflects the collective, reciprocal and supportive role each individual member contributes to achieving holistic wellbeing. ‘Ātakai (environment) is crucial and significant to the overall wellbeing of fanau. Connections and accessibility to resources are vital for the livelihood of the fanau and kāinga. Considerations need to be given to the fonua part of the environment (cultural heritage of what it means to be Tongan in Aotearoa New Zealand). But one must be mindful in the environment that has been constructed by mankind which influences wellbeing.

Together these dimensions (physical, mind, spirituality, family and community, and environment) radiate harmony within each other. This harmony is referred to as ‘napangapanga mālie’ (that all the dimensions are well and balanced). The absence or compromise of any one of these disrupts harmony and can result in a home without peace, safety, joy or laughter.

The spirit of Mo‘ui Fakalata is aspirational and focuses on the potential strengths of the fanau and kāinga. One of the core beliefs of Mo‘ui Fakalata is in the innate power of human spirit to overcome obstacles and difficulties. As mentioned, the dimensions can be seen as both a protective and risk factor that may strengthen and/or weaken the fanau and kāinga wellbeing. Safety factors offer understanding to build safety for the fanau by identifying a network of relationships and factors to consider.

Sino (physical)

• Physical abuse – excessive hitting or physical punishment, bruises or marks
• Sexual abuse
• Neglect – malnutrition, medical treatment 
• Drug and/or alcohol abuse 
• Disability

‘Atamai (mind or psychological)

• Risk-taking behaviours
• Poor sense of belonging and identity
• Fearful behaviour
• Exposure to constant derision, and feelings of not being good enough
• Sexuality and gender identity discrimination 
• Lack of accessibility to education 
• Manifestations of mental illness 
• Psychological distress 
• Intellectual disability

Laumālie (spiritual)

• Poor sense of meaning and purpose 
• Mala or fakamala'ia (curse)
• Possession (manifesting as signs of mental illness)
• Disconnection from the church

Kāinga (immediate, extended family and community)

• Intergenerational conflict and trauma 
• Division and conflict of relationships
• Isolation from family support 
• Lack of social connections 
• Compromised immigration status (for example, overstayer)

‘Ātakai (environment)

• Detrimental living conditions, such as overcrowding, lack of heating, housing repairs 
• Poor housing 
• Socio-economic deprivation
• Negative impacts of migration, such as language difficulties, job and housing instability, isolation
• Lack of understanding of legal policies, procedures and regulations

The following tools can be used by social workers in their social work engagement and process.

Fala (Tongan mat) – a relational metaphor

Tongan fala (mats) are one of the most treasured possessions in Tongan households and hold significant importance to the wellbeing of Tongan people. The mat symbolises that working with Tongans should be relational and inclusive of ‘api (those within the home) and kāinga (extended family and community).

Papata pē ka na‘e lalanga is a well-known metaphor which means that we might put a lot of effort into making something and while the outcome may not always be perfect, it is still purposeful (MacIntyre, 2008 – pages 10 to 11). Mo‘ui Fakalata acknowledges that children, young people and their families come with their own mat that had already been woven. Sometimes the strands of those mats are broken, impacted by being oppressed and marginalised by relationships. These often lead to unsafe and harmful decisions. The fala offers a way to deepen cultural understanding to restore, protect and strengthen the broken strands enhancing wellbeing.

Fakalotofale‘ia

Fakalotofale‘ia is the process where sensitivity of all things is respected and observed. It is a Tongan interrelational system that is used to engage, seek and receive information. The process of fakalotofale'ia occurs within the fale and its attendant values and expected ethical standards and etiquette are carried out. Its intent is to sustain harmony within relationship, facilitate safety for all parties to talanoa and ensure accountability. Fakalotofale'ia is also a process of kāinga decision-making to achieve best interests and safety for fanau. It is evoked in times of crisis because of its restorative and preventative elements.

Fakalotofale'ia: a sanctuary of wisdom in the supervision relationship, by Aulola Lino

Reference: Introducing disability concepts with integrity into Tongan cultural context, by SLT Tahaafe

The essence of the Tongan heart

To meaningfully engage Tongans, it involves the loto (or heart). The concept loto is central to understanding a Tongan way of life and being. The tapestry of understanding for Tongans lies within their heart. There are unique ways of engagement, efforts and technique for building relationships and thriving purpose derives from elements that weaves the Tongan heart. The Tongan heart is of value and significant to the development of the Tongan person – it activates motivation and contains truths and opinions. It is said that when engagement is framed from the heart, there is most likely to be positive outcomes despite challenges.

Ko e tangi fai mei he ate: Conceptualising deliberate self-harm amongst Tongan women in Auckland, New Zealand, by Aulola He-Polealisi Fuka Lino (page 68)

Loto’i Tonga: Success by achievement — A case study, by Ofanoa et al

The tapestry of the elements of the Tongan heart

The following list is a resource that defines and describes the elements of the Tongan heart and its application in practice. These can be used as sets of standards when engaging with Tongan children, young people, their families and communities to uphold cultural integrity and professional conduct. (Dr Linitā Manu’atu in her keynote address at the 18th Tonga Research Association Conference shares about Fatumanongi ‘o e Loto’i Tonga & Fakamonū ‘o Tonga.)

The tefito‘i tui or the values of Mo‘ui Fakalata offer guidance to strengthen the way we work and communicate with Tongan fanau and their kāinga. These values are not just about bringing your head but also your heart to the relationship. Fanau and kāinga can sense genuine and authentic engagement in your intent and the way you engage them. Drawing on these values enables you to have a safe relational, inclusive and restorative way of working. As is seen in the diagram, the values are stored in the taufatunga motu‘a area of the fale (the taufatungamotu’a is one of the main beams of the roof structure in the Tongan fale, where Tongans stored their treasures such as fala/mats and ngatu/tapa cloths – refer to Nonu 2016, pages 25 to 28). Everything about Mo‘ui Fakalata is contained within the fale.

The core values of Mo‘ui Fakalata derives from our Tongan cultural values to ensure children reach the optimum value of life and are enriched so that they can thrive.

‘Ofa (love, care, and compassion)

Action and behaviour need to come from a place of love, care and compassion. It is a requirement for ‘ofa to be at the core and must be central in all processes when working with Tongan fanau and kāinga as it helps to facilitate a bond and connection. ‘Ofa can overcome potential oppressive relationships and dynamics. Importantly ‘ofa is essential in building strong relationships and fostering positive outcomes. (See Kalavite 2010, especially pages 34 to 36, for more information on the concept of ‘ofa.)

Application of ‘ofa to practice:

• Shows in one’s action to support or take care of meeting someone’s needs (emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, economically)
• Demonstrate sensitivity and respect for cultural differences 
• Connecting with your heart by allowing for time and space
• Communicating in a language that is relational and inclusive
• Actively and attentively listen from the heart
• Acknowledge challenges and difficulties they might be experiencing
• Going beyond, willingness to go the extra mile and doing things without being asked to do, such as addressing the needs of fanau/kāinga that may impact wellbeing (access to support, advocacy)

Faka‘apa‘apa (respect)

Faka‘apa‘apa is about showing respect in your behaviour – verbal and non-verbal interactions.

Faka‘apa‘apa is a written social contract that all Tongans aspire and adhere to in various degrees and contexts. Faka‘apa‘apa begins with a shared understanding that this is relational social contract between two people. Faka‘apa‘apa as much as it is a value must be demonstrated through behaviour, speech, dress code and meeting cultural and familial obligations.

Sustainable livelihood and education in the Pacific: Tonga pilot report (page 67)

Application of faka‘apa‘apa to practice: 

• Acknowledge cultural differences and understanding
• Aware of gendered expectations within the family, such as women’s place within the home
• Keeping of certain taboos between members of the family, such as types of language used (taboo for different genders), dress code, roles and responsibilities
• Respect between brother and sister when sensitive topics are being discussed
• Be mindful of the verbal and non-verbal language we use and manner we deliver our message
• Taking lead from the family about how best they would like to proceed or begin a meeting
• Speaking to family at the same level – if they sit on the floor and they offer you a chair, sit on the floor. Take your shoes off at the door, and always acknowledge elders in the house
• Parking – not parking on the driveway
• Listen more and talk less

Tauhi vā (maintaining and looking after relationships)

Tauhi means to look after or take care of, and vā is the social spaces or relationships among people.

Tauhi vā: Nurturing Tongan Sociospatial Ties in Maui and Beyond, by Tēvita O Ka'ili (pages 89 to 114)

It embodies the process, practice, patterns and connections of caring for and protecting relationships and how people relate to one another. Maintaining strong relational ties or connections is important to Tongan wellbeing and an important competency when working with people who identifies as Tongan. Transnationally these relationships may be practised differently by different people in relation to their own socio-cultural needs and expectations.

Application of tauhi vā to practice:

• Build trust by thinking of ways to establish social and meaningful connections
  • Create a welcoming warm and safe space by sharing a bit about yourself
  • Engaging in friendly talanoa (conversation) to affirm things that are important to them
  • Matakāinga is central to tauhi vā (behaving like family, expressed in the value of looking after relationships). Warmth is shown on the face and in your body language
    Tongan metaphors of social work practice: Hange ha Pa kuo Fa'u', by Tracie Ailong Mafile'o (pages 140 to 142)
• Understanding mutual respect regarding relationships among kāinga
• Doing due diligence to care for the relationship by taking the time to ask questions, planning, documenting and decision-making process
• Aware that relationships are not terminated
• Validating people’s experiences and positions
• Appropriate cultural consultations
• Clarity about roles and responsibilities
• Being aware of the different challenges fanau/kāinga faces

Anga fakatōkilalo (acting with humility)

Fakatōkilalo means 'is to cause to faka (fall) kilalo (down)'. Fakatōkilalo in the Tongan context refers to being humble with a willing heart to value the welfare of others more and think of oneself.

Tongan metaphors of social work practice: Hange ha Pa kuo Fa'u', by Tracie Ailong Mafile'o

Once a relationship is created or acknowledged, distinct role and purpose can begin to be discussed one step at a time. For example, dressing appropriately, know how to greet and address those you are working with and use appropriate language in context is important.

Application of anga fakatōkilalo to practice:

• Show you have genuine interest in wanting to work with them
• Demonstrate respectful manner by listening and responding appropriately
• Hearing others first before speaking yourself
• Respecting fanau, fāmili and kāinga identity
• Check out, seek permission and approval with family
• Acknowledging your cultural limitations and openness to learn

Fatongia (duty and responsibility)

Duty and responsibility contribute to wellness. This is conducted and motivated by fulfilling one’s commitment and obligation in the home and to the wider community. Each person has a role to play for the collective benefit to all members of the fāmili and kāinga. For Tongans, these are taught and engrained into their lives from an early age. For example, fatongia of children towards their parents and vice versa, honouring the duty and obligations between brothers and sisters, responsibility within the kāinga and through the social structure. It is a great shame if fatongia is not fulfilled, and people take extreme measures to carry out their duty to the utmost best. People’s relationships to one another are identified by the duty and responsibility they play. These duties and obligations may vary from family to family.

Application of fatongia to practice: 

• Understanding roles, rank and status that comes with obligations/responsibilities
• Recognition of position and role of each family member and how that may impact or influence the collective family dynamic, decision-making
• Consider connections to the church and wider community
• Accountability and pressure points on wellbeing
• Obligation to maintain relationships

Feveitokai‘aki (reciprocal respect)

Feveitokai‘aki is reciprocal respect which values sharing, cooperation and vital aspect that guides selfless acts of giving and serving others instead of self-interest. Reciprocal respect is relationally formed through mutually affirming interactions. Reciprocal respect for one another promotes mutual accountability which builds the trustworthiness and quality of the relationship. This is where both who are engaged in the relationship feel fairly treated and listened to and acknowledges the strengths and vulnerabilities that people bring to the relationship. When practised well, reciprocity enhances equality within the relationship moving away from dominant individualistic way of working.

Application of feveitokai‘aki to practice: 

• To respect and value each other’s feelings and needs
• Looking beyond the working relationship, locating connections, networks, and communities for the benefit of the fanau, fāmili and kainga
• Promote equality in the relationship
• Respecting individuals and families who they are and see their potential
• Acknowledges fanau and kāinga knowledge to co-produce solutions together

Fetokoni‘aki (reciprocity)

The value of fetokoni‘aki is in the action of what one provides, to support, and help each other to work together. This is important as a collective measure to ensure the mobilisation of fāmili and kāinga within the home and community. Fetokoni‘aki is crucial as members are expected to show these qualities in their daily lives. It is about having a willing heart to help with balanced levels of give and take.

Application of fetokoni‘aki to practice:

• Understanding the collective and interdependent values
• Not making decisions in isolation but sharing your thoughts and ideas to reach a common goal
• If the family you visit offer you a cup of tea, next time you visit take a cake or something in return
• Willing to accommodate and be genuine
• Sharing the same feelings, views with fāmili/kāinga in a respectful way

The encompassing principle for working with Tongan fanau (children and young people) and kāinga (families).

Guardianship is the encompassing principle of the Va'aifetū practice model

Guardianship is the unwritten understanding of care of and responsibility for people. This principles is the umbrella under which all notions of 'ofa (love, care, compassion), kinships, belonging, identity, responsibility and protection lie. This is the enabling space for recognition, dignity, forgiveness, recovery, reciprocity, resilience, restoration and shared prosperity.

Practice

Practice includes:

• seeking and recognising the ways guardianship is expressed through Tongan values and drawing on this to promote safety and mo‘ui lōtolu (wellbeing) of Tongan fanau (children) and kāinga (immediate and extended family)
• enabling the space for reciprocity and restoration and promoting the resilience and prosperity of Tongan fanau and kāinga by ensuring their worldviews are understood and included
• upholding the value of human life and the principle of guardianship, promoting and protecting this as a human right.

Reflective questions

• How am I connecting the unique values in this cultural approach with the principle of guardianship?
• How am I demonstrating the Tongan principle of guardianship within the kāinga?
• How have I promoted the values that inform Tongan views of guardianship?

Tefito‘i tui values and beliefs

• Fatongia (duty and responsibility) – identify duty and roles of fanau (children) within their kāinga (family).
• ‘Ofa (love , care, compassion) – to see fanau and kāinga as your own when you are working with them.
• Tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) – keep safe, strong, trusting relationships with fanau.
• Anga fakatōkilalo (humility) – open heart, mind and spirit, listening to fanau narratives, experiences and aspirations.

Practice

Practice includes:

• weeing and acknowledging that the fanau (child) belongs to a kāinga (family) within a collective environment, structure and a social system
• exploring with fanau and kāinga to understand what being Tongan means for each of them
• understanding the roles and responsbilities that exist within the kāinga helps us to recognise and identify strengths, resources and needs when they are diminished
• applying talanoa (conversation) for a deeper understanding of the fanau and their kāinga, and promote their participation in decision-making
• ensuring I have recorded names, villages, islands and language of fanau and kāinga correctly in all my records.

Reflective questions

• How have I used tefito‘i tui to build an authentic relationship with fanau?
• How have I recorded the narratives of fanau through their voice and aspirations? What have I understood in that journey with them?
• Whose rights am I upholding when there is intergenerational conflict with differing worldviews?
• How do I understand the way fanau are valued within their family?

Tefito‘i tui values and beliefs

• ‘Ofa – to love God, is to act with love, care and compassion for other.
• Faka‘apa‘apa (respect) – respect the place of God within each kāinga.
• Tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) – sacred relationship between God, the collective kāinga (family) and with each other.
• Anga fakatōkilalo (humility) – to be humble in the presence of God and others.

Practice

Practice includes:

• acknowledging and understanding the relationship of spirituality and its influence on Tongan wellbeing
• recognising fanau (children) and kāinga (family) may be disconnected spiritually – the power of prayer can breakdown barriers and reconcile spiritual connectedness
• understanding that spirituality, faith and religion can be expressed differently across fanau and kāinga
• an awareness of the significance of how spirituality informs expected behaviour according to one's role, place and function within the kāinga – this awareness enhances my communication and connections with kāinga
• understanding the act of foaki (giving and serving others) without expecting anything in return is an important expression of spirituality
• recognising the significance of the enduring connections with those who have gone before.

Reflective questions

• How do I understand and make sense of the power of prayer, spirituality, faith and religion for kāinga and fanau that I work with?
• How do I respond to what I have seen, felt and heard about spirituality, faith and religion of kāinga and fanau that I am working with?
• What do I think about spiritual, religious and faith beliefs when working with fanau and kainga?

Tefito‘i tui values and beliefs

• Feveitokai‘aki (reciprocal respect) – be humble in our actions and behaviours with each other.
• ‘Ofa (love, care, compassion) – always start with an open heart, being genuine and authentic.
• Fetokoni‘aki (reciprocity) – be open to sharing self with others and receiving others with heart, ‘ofa and compassion.
• Tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) – relationships are built on trust, humility and dignity.

Practice

Practice includes:

• taking the time to learn and understand the hierarchical roles and status each kāinga (family) member holds
• upholding the dignity of kāinga by respecting the relationships, through time and space
• an awareness that authentic and inauthentic humility is observed and assessed through my behaviours and actions (tone, language, dress, eye contact)
• recognising your status (professional authority) and taking steps to minimise the power imbalance between you and the kāinga
• understanding the power of humility from a Tongan worldview and the uplifting experiences that derive from acts of humility between individuals
• respecting when visiting kāinga in their homes, we greet and wait for kāinga to lead and guide us.

Reflective questions

• In what ways have I shown humility in my approach when working with fanau (children) and kāinga?
• What approaches have I taken to work out who significant members of the kāinga are and why?
• How have I managed any differences between Tongan worldviews and values, and my own?

Tefito‘i tui values and beliefs

• Faka’apa‘apa (respect) – being relational, inclusive and restorative.
• Fatongia (duty and responsibility) – uphold the dignity of fanau and kāinga.
• Tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) – fanau and kāinga are experts in their own lives.
• Anga fakatōkilalo (humility) – acts of giving and receiving.

Practice

Practice includes:

• understanding the significance of and acting in ways that upholds the embodiment of pride that Tongan people have in their culture, monarchy and country
• understanding that the strength of the kāinga (family) as a collective is central to Tongans
• recognising the restorative power of the collective when wellbeing has been impacted and/or weakened by environmental, socio-economic disruptions in the new land
• understanding and respecting the importance of good social interactions for Tongans and their maintenance and nurturing of the vā (relationship) for this purpose
• an awareness and adherence to the cultural expectations attached to gender and gendered roles within the Tongan world.

Reflective questions

• How is my relational practice balancing the dignity of fanau (children) and kāiga with the need to address hard/complex issues?
• How do I understand reciprocity from a Tongan perspective and what have I done to activate that understanding in my practice?
• How did I respect and demonstrate with fanau and kāinga that they are the experts of their own lives? What should I see, feel, hear and experience if I have achieved this?

Tefito‘i tui values and beliefs

• Feveitokai‘aki (reciprocal respect) – you are a guest in their home, and you approach kāinga with humility, dignity and respect.
• Fatongia (duty and responsibility) – deeply connected to kāinga, lotu and kāinga he nofo.
• Tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) – honour the sacredness and space of all relationships of fanau and kāinga.
• Anga fakatōkilalo (humility) – reciprocal relationships with fanau and kāinga.

Practice

Practice includes:

• understanding the significance of tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) and how we take care of the bonds that govern the gravity of issues (such as youth offending) or the sensitivity of issues (tapu) (such as sexual abuse) with appropriate responses
• understanding tauhi vā (building, nurturing and maintaining relationships) is a responsibility I have when working with kāinga
• recognising that building relationships through talanoa (respectful conversation) is vital to Tongans as it captures what they know and how they do things as it gives a sense of balance and/or harmony
• understanding key roles and responsibilities within the nofo a kāinga as signposts for key relationships that can be connectors within the kāinga.

Reflective questions

• What are the ways I have demonstrated humility and dignity in building relationships with fanau and kāinga?
• What have I learnt about the hierarchal structures, duty and responsibilities of each kāinga member, including fanau?
• How did I create safe spaces for fanau and kāinga to support restoration and healing?

Tefito‘i tui values and beliefs

• Faka’apa‘apa (respect) – actions and behaviours are enacted individually and collectively.
• Fatongia (responsibility, duty and obligation) – reciprocity and respect to listen and share with fanau and kāinga members.
• Tauhi vā (maintaining relationships) – kāinga believe in their fundamental responsibility towards their fanau through their own self-determination.
• Anga fakatōkilalo (humility) – supports purpose and place within collectives and affiliations to restore dignity and integrity.

Practice

Practice includes:

• respecting that fatongia is ascribed from birth – fanau is born into rank and status in accordance to social hierarchy with defined responsibilities
• recognising that kāinga wellbeing and functioning reflect how well the responsibilities of its members are fulfilled
• understanding of nofo ‘a kāinga system (family structure), its roles and responsibilities informs Tongans on how to behave and act
• an awareness of the difference between one’s social status versus one’s societal rank – social status is the position one inherits from their father, while societal rank is the position one inherits from their mother
• an awareness of the position of women in Tongan society and the cultural responsibilities accorded to them.

Reflective questions

• What have I done to ensure that I am meeting the cultural needs of fanau and kāinga?
• What areas of development do I need to continue to build and deepen my knowledge and understanding of Mo‘ui Fakalata when working with Tongan fanau and kāinga?
• How am I considering roles and responsibilities embedded in nofo ‘a kāinga to help me explore sources of support and protection?